Inside every woman lives a little girl. In this post I want to discuss the psychology of women or more narrowly, the way some women act and the things they think during fights, conflicts, and difficulties. This should not be viewed as disrespectful, just in the same way as it should not be viewed all-encompassing and final – no, this is just something I’ve stumbled upon during my relationship, and what I want to understand, and help anyone who reads this understand.

I have recently had a horrid and draining conflict with a woman that I love and she insulted me badly and hurtfully. Before this conflict we haven’t spoken for a number of days, and as with any situation, we had a certain history or runner-up events before the actual conflict.

I do not wish to provide details of the conflict, just some thoughts I have on the matter and my observations.

We were deeply and madly in love and over the past 2 months we were in a roller-coaster of a relationship: long-distance, constant fighting, moods not matching, not understanding and rarely willing to compromise.

During our last conversation I did my best to persuade her that I have only good intentions – I want to fill her heart with happiness, I miss her and I am apologetic. The fact that there was nothing to be apologetic about goes without saying, the fact that she broke up with me just a couple of days prior and has been calling me, nonetheless, should be explained.
Before these couple of days when we haven’t spoken she was quite moody and upset with me – and I tried to, again, send only positivity to her, in order to lift her spirit, and she caved. We had a good conversation. The next day she disappeared and we haven’t spoken for two days, a period, by the end of which I receive an email notifying me of our breakup.
Now the importance here is that she says – don’t reply, just leave me and be happy, and when I ask the question why, she flips! So I leave, and in another two days I start receiving calls which is an unprecedented event – she’s calling me, but doesn’t want to speak.

Then, I, tired of all these games, say that she has my full love, but she has to grow up and start acting like an adult and just state whatever she wants to say, and I will give it to her. ‘I just want clarity’. I leave her to herself, and she starts to get annoyed of my unwillingness to accept her attitude and nurture her to calm down, love her to flourish, and appreciate her presence. I get frustrated – and after a while of unwitting thinking and self-consolation I decide that I need to call her. This is, of course, greeted with much negativity and resistance, but the hurdles are overcome and I try to explain to her my position. She listens, and by the end gets me to understand that she’s unclenched, so I exhale.

Unfortunately, this has only been phase one, after which comes more examination and penetration of the brain. I hold out for as long as I can, but the anguish from selfishness and egocentricity is too much to handle – so I burst out with unease and despise. I, nonetheless, carefully, explain her failures to appreciate my efforts, my position and her wrongdoing. She retaliates with more conflict and then leaves the conversation.

Now that a general explanation has been brought forth, along I bring my thoughts and reflections.

A woman, no matter how confident, wise, sophisticated and unattainable – is a woman. And within her is a little girl, who hides until she is loved. And when she is loved she comes forth – she is vulnerable, but tender, capricious, but pure; and deceitful in her harmlessness. This is due to the experience she has gained of life, as a woman, and not a child. But, as a little girl she wants love. Some attribute this phenomenon to the term ‘daddy issues’, which can be found in a lot of girls.

So what you have to keep in mind is – be patient, and always (in this kind of instances, which you need to be able to identify) treat her like a baby. And of course this regards love and not respect – be careful not to cross the line with treating her like a child – because she needs love and care, not to be ridiculed by you.

She needs you to muster all that is in you and put it out there, like a blossomed flower, show your intestines, pour your heart out for her, and, depending on how mad she is, she will chose to accept it. This requires a lot of courage and acceptance of the character on your part, because if you really love and are loved, the reward will come in due course (unfortunately for some, it might take too long).

Now if you are close the problem is not that great – you force a hug and squeeze her tight, until she lets down her guard. And you will need to work on it. But for a long-distance relationship – this situation is tough! So you put in the maximum. And what you receive in turn depends on your investment.

BUT! Don’t rush to relax and call this a done deal – because you will soon be faced with the next problem – resistance. A girl will always have to resist, push your buttons to see how far you are ready to go, how heartily you approach this issue and that you are not faking. This is the most difficult part. This is the part of going the extra mile, putting out to a 110%, giving it your fullest! And if it works – you are back on the horse.

See, that capriciousness gets to play around when you present your vulnerability – that is why women are so insidious/treacherous/cunning! They can’t accept the things as they come, they can’t be truthful, they can’t go with the flow. They create hurdles and play games. And yes, that is the result of her ‘daddy’, or her ex fucking the girl up, and you paying the price to fix it. Or it’s the result of you fucking her up, in which case – man up and stop complaining. But it may be a mix-and-match situation… doesn’t matter. Remember – ‘When you accept someone, you accept their past too. Don't hold it against them later.’

So when you’re done with this part it’s her time to act. Now again, I remind you – a woman is not but a girl inside – so be cautious. If she still ‘fronts’ that means what you did was not enough, and she wants more. Now in my situation – there was no ‘more’. And this is why it went downhill for me. I couldn’t take this shit anymore. And I almost let her have what she deserves. See, another problem is – she assumes (different things) and accepts them with time (so in her understanding of the situation – she materializes her thoughts as the ‘truth’). Thus, it is your responsibility to first negate the effect of this and assure her of whatever is the real truth. And there are many more of this type of ‘shits’ to be on a lookout for, but I won’t cover them.

So, here I am, exhausted, emotionally drained and alone. Unappreciated, misunderstood, and thrown out the window. And if you are in this situation, there’s only one thing I can say – she’s the wrong girl. No person, no matter how much they are upset, will let you go through this emotional hell for them and leave you hanging at the end.
Now this, again, may be explained from different standpoints. She’s not the one, because:
• (and this is my case) the woman you’ve once fell in love with has become spoiled with your affection and attention;
• she became indifferent to you;
• you’ve caused her too much pain to be forgiven.

So, as I’ve said, since I don’t have the opportunity to console this little precious creature by a loving hug, kiss, smile, tears of care, and etc., I can only persuade her by my voice – which is a great weakness, with regard to the former. So a person needs a lot more energy and etc. to aid him if it’s long-distance.

And this is why I’ve lost my love. She’s there now, still a little child, alone in the world – because she has no one to talk to, no one to comfort her, sooth and revive her spirit, give her strength. Now I sit here and regret it very badly, because she will be okay – she will be very good, in fact. She is a beautiful, confident woman again, ready for the world, which admires her like a fruit beyond reach… But the child inside her is back, in the corner of her soul, injured, scared, disappointed, resentful. And growing a big-big force field, to protect her from any claws trying to reach. And there is nothing you can do about it. And it will take her long, before she can love again.

But, if she is intelligent enough, and if she loves you enough, she will come back. Because with you – she’s happy.
Otherwise, just slap the fucking bitch, and tell her to get out of your sight. Because you only live once, and you are not perfect, and you are not made of steel. And you hurt, you bruise, you are not impervious to pain, you are HUMAN! And if she can’t appreciate what you’ve done for her – well let her rot in fucking hell, ‘cuz the bitch fucking spat in your open soul.

This is how life goes, and how we carry on living it.

@музыка: Silence

@настроение: Despair, distrust, deceit and disposition

@темы: girls, women, treat, trust, hurt, love, pain, long-distance, relationships